Four Poems and Sione's Wedding by Karlo Mila: A Text to Self Analysis

The topic I will be looking into is the Madonna/Whore dichotomy. A brief description of what this means is that women are forced to construct their sexual identity in one of only two ways: saint or sinner. This is a form of patriarchal oppression because the virgin must be protected by men, and the whore must be punished by them. 

This is still an issue in society today. The Madonna/Whore complex is perpetuated by Christianity and the teachings of the Bible, as Martin Luther King stated when he said "The word and works of God are quite clear: that women were made to be either wives or prostitutes." Western civilisation was built on the Christian religion and this is still the biggest religion in the world. It is also the religion that the colonial Pacific adopted and is strong not only in New Zealand but also in Tonga and Samoa, countries which Karlo Mila has roots in. It’s easy to see, then, how relevant this stereotype is to her personally and also to our country and all of Western civilisation.

I chose the first quote I want to discuss because the Madonna/Whore complex is so apparent in it. Mila writes:

"Same old roly-poly roles
dusky maiden in her little lavalava
fertilising the taro patch
and the mum in her mumu
modern-day Mary, her afro like a halo
hands clasped in prayer
for the sins of her sons." 

Firstly, we have the “dusky maiden” who takes on the role of the Whore. The term “dusky maiden” has been very carefully chosen because its origins can be traced back to when the Pacific Islands were first explored. Sailors from Europe were shocked by the exposed breasts and thighs of Island women, and their supposed promiscuity and willingness to offer sexual favours to the foreign men. This means that the term “dusky maiden,” which was coined by the explorers, has a lot of negative sexual connotations and that’s why this girl is in the Whore stereotype. 

Also, Mila describes her lavalava, or wraparound skirt, as “little” implying it is short and revealing. The emphasis placed on her clothing echoes society’s obsession with the length of women’s skirts and how they must be “a slut” or “easy” if it’s a bit short.

Moving on to the mother, she is clothed in a mumu or full length shift dress, which in contrast reveals very little skin and makes the female figure seem shapeless. The next two lines blatantly describe her as the Madonna figure, “modern-day Mary”-  Mary in the Bible is the same thing as the Madonna, “afro like a halo” - she’s a saint, “hands clasped in prayer” - she definitely has faith in God. Karlo Mila couldn’t be any more obvious here.

The stereotype continues with this next quote: 

“How does a wet 

dream island girl get 

to wear white 

at Sione’s wedding?” 

Here, she is making the point that if you’re a beautiful girl with a gorgeous figure, the imagination of a man then has the power to make you a whore, no matter what your actual number of partners is. If you’re hot enough that he dreams of having sex with you, then that’s as good as actually doing it. She may physically be a virgin for all he knows, but a man’s mind still has the power to make her a slut who doesn’t deserve to wear white at the wedding because it symbolises sexual purity.

The next quote I would like to discuss is:

"Hmm, it seems we're either hula

or hipping it

either on your arm or

talking to your hand."

This blatantly shows sexism because the ideology behind it is that men expect women to be hot hula girls, happy to be a trophy shown off on their arm, and if you’re not happy to be that kind of woman, you can talk to their hand. This is a strong example of the way that women are expected, often not only by the men in their lives but also by the media and other women, to conform to a man’s ideal of what a woman should be, and if she doesn’t she can piss off. This enforces the patriarchal oppression that the Virgin/Whore complex stems from.

Next, Mila discusses the fact that sexual feelings are something that women are made to feel ashamed about:

"alliterated affection
blurs all that sex
and sweat and shame
into art"

Here, the author talks about trying to take her shame and make it into art, which is a positive step toward reclaiming her sexual identity.

What’s interesting about the next quote is that she describes the disapproval as coming from her aunties, not her uncles. 

"pastel and palatable

to our aunties

who'd turn in their graves 

like weeds

if we told the seedy truth"

This is another part where the author notes that women trap themselves in stereotypes by echoing the patriarchal values they were taught when they were young, rather than thinking for themselves and daring to contradict it. It’s scary how accurately this reflects real life. When teenage girls are bullied for being “sluts” it’s far more likely to come from other girls. These judgements are so strong in our society that women effectively oppress themselves, no helping hand needed from the men in their lives.

Text to Self is an important part of analysing a text because in order to achieve their purpose, the author needs to make a connection with their audience, and the only way to do that is to make them think or feel something.

I believe that while in this poem, Karlo Mila focuses on challenging the oppression of women in the Samoan and Tongan cultures that she has roots in, her purpose goes far beyond that, because women from the other Islands, from New Zealand, and even right around the world are able to connect with what she writes. This is because the Madonna/Whore complex affects women wherever Western culture has had an influence, no matter where they came from originally.

To back up that statement, I will give some real-life examples of how prevalent this stereotype is in Western culture outside of the islands Karlo Mila focuses on in her poem. This first example is from the music industry, somewhere you can see it all the time. 

Taylor Swift’s music video for You Belong With Me shows her playing both stereotypes. As the whore, she wears lots of makeup and a revealing red dress, a colour that in Western society symbolises sin and sexual passion. As the virgin, she has natural makeup and a dress that covers a lot more skin, and of course it is white, the colour of purity and innocence. And the virgin gets the boy in the end because obviously no man wants a serious relationship with a whore, she’s not girlfriend material. Again, this is women oppressing women, and shockingly this music video won Best Female Video at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards, which goes to show how much our society loves to judge women by these stereotypes and see the Madonna triumph over her slutty counterpart. 

What’s even more disturbing is that the majority of Swift’s fanbase are in their early teens or even younger, and are still learning how to be a woman from the whole world around them, including Swift who they look up to. So they will grow up believing this kind of stereotyping is normal and okay, and that when they reach sexual maturity, they have to be a saint or else they’ll be a sinner.

One of the biggest issues I have with the Madonna/Whore dichotomy is that it doesn’t allow for anything in between Virgin and Whore. This is definitely not an accurate depiction of women’s sexual identity, which can’t be defined by labels because everyone is somewhere different along a spectrum. This next photo is an example of this. 

It shows the judgements women are faced with every day simply because of the length of their skirt, as if that defines your entire being. I think most people would agree that the judgements marked on this girl’s leg are pretty accurate reflection on how a large proportion of society thinks, and it's interesting how they all carry negative connotations, even the ones that fall under the Madonna heading rather than Whore. The issue that this reflects is that in today’s society, a large amount of men consider the Virgin just as unattractive and unsuitable as a partner as the Whore. Yet women are only allowed to be Virgins or Whores, so this is a very twisted outlook.

This next picture is also relevant to that concept that both Whore and Virgin are looked down upon. I opened an ask.fm account and asked for girls to share their experiences with the Madonna/Whore dichotomy, and this website allows people to anonymously submit things to you. The answers I received show just how confused society’s outlook on female sexual identity is, and how easily girls get stereotyped as one or another with no acknowledgement of all the possibilities in between.

And this continues. This next picture is composed of a bunch of screenshots of what else I received for having a page that people can abuse the anonymous function on. These totally inappropriate questions demonstrate to me how obsessed our society is with these stereotypes and with forcing them on people when they know nothing about them or their sexual identity.

So essentially, the core focus of my Text to Self evaluation is that I feel like Karlo Mila connected with me because as a woman I am subjected to the Madonna/Whore complex on a daily basis, and I can relate to the feelings she expresses in the poem about sexual identity and how society raises us to believe we can only be Virgins or Whores.

(1,645 words)